I was nearly homeless in Lagos
Hey Sisturr!
November is undeniably my favourite month of the year.
Firstly, because it's my birth month.
Secondly, it's been historically known as a month that always brings me new things.
In November 2016, I hosted the first-ever edition of Teens Forum monthly talk shows, which would eventually become a norm for the next 2 years.
In November 2017, I celebrated the first anniversary of TITFOR, hosted my 18th birthday party, and launched my first published book, A Palm of the Hand.
In November 2018, I hosted my first teen conference in Aba. It was captioned MUTATION 18: Making I CAN a strand of my DNA—our biggest guests from as far as Kogi and Lagos.
In November 2019, I hosted my second teen conference in Aba. It was captioned MUTATION 19: Becoming Young Millionaires. We had over 120 teens and young adults in attendance.
In November 2020, I started a romantic relationship with Afam (who's now my ex-boyfriend). It was one of the best Novembers of my life!
In November 2021, I started working with an international company based in Canada. The job was as a content writer and my salary was 150 USD at the time.
In November 2022, I got laid off from my job as a Sales & Marketing Executive at Ohmstech. However, I had an exciting job as Digital Marketing Manager at CodeRigi Technologies.
November 2023? I don't know what to expect.
But before we go into all of that, let me wish you a very happy, happy New Month!
Welcome to November! I pray this month brings all your heart desires to pass!
Amen 🙏
I know some are extremely curious as to how October went.
I'll tell you!
Korty EO & Her Victoria's Secret Collaboration
Last month, I wrote and sent out this newsletter on the 1st of October.
It was a Sunday.
After I finished, I took a stroll to YouTube, and the first video that hit me was THIS.
It was so inspiring to me! I could vividly remember the first day I stumbled into Korty on YouTube.
At the time, she was still a really small creator. But there was something about her.
Her storytelling style got me hooked, and I went on to subscribe to her channel and watch all the videos she had posted.
This is the first video from her I saw.
Then, when I saw the video about her being 22, jobless and happy, I was like, darrnnn! This girl has some balls.
Watching her quit her job and delve into YouTube and seeing how fast her channel has grown and evolved has been nothing short of inspiring to me.
But seeing her collaboration with Victoria's Secret, to me, that was crazy!
She has evolved from that audacious 22 without any studio equipment fiddling with YouTube to a talent that an international brand as big as Victoria's Secret is reaching out to work on their filmmaking project.
As I watched that video, tears rolled down my eyes!
I could remember vividly how she continuously and repeatedly said it in her early days: "I'm not a YouTuber. I'm a filmmaker."
And that's exactly how Korty treated creating her YouTube videos. She treated them like film projects.
And this brings me to three lessons I've learned from Korty's success:
Be Audacious: Any time I see Korty, I see how big her guts are! I see audacity! She might be young, but she doesn't give a shit. I love it!
Be authentic. This was one of the first things I loved about her when I first saw her. Her authenticity is through the roof! From her dressing to the way she speaks to the camera! Everything! She doesn't force anything!
Be a dreamer. She might not talk about it a lot, but Korty is one hell of a dreamer! Many YouTubers are there for fame and are not looking for an opportunity to advance their careers. Korty knows how far she wants to go, and she's all for it!
Have you heard of Korty EO? If you haven't, I think you should check out her channel today!
She's a big inspiration to me!
I spent 24 hours with my favourite girl
It's okay to see celebrities and Youtubers like Korty and be screaming through the roof how proud of them we are.
Many times, we don't give as much credit to our friends who are pushing themselves and doing just fine.
Quick story!
If you follow me on WhatsApp, you'll know I'm very big on friendships, especially female friendships.
Like I often say, my female friends are my life! They are what keep me grounded!
One of my closest female friends is Fejiro. (She prefers Ilaya Teejay, but I don't care 🤣)
I met her in January 2020. She had bought a bed space in Room 4 (my room at NDDC Hostel in Uniport).
She was in her final year in the Department of Finance and Banking.
Room 4 was home to nine girls, but somehow, the very minute Fejiro opened her mouth to speak, I knew she was the one!
Our conversation started when she mentioned she had read The Smart Money Woman by Arese Ugwu.
That was one of my favourite reads from 2020.
Knowing not so many Nigerians read and seeing one right in my room who had read and was distilling the lessons she got from it was incredibly impressive to me.
From that day on, we became friends.
When we all went home for the COVID-19 break and MTN offered us 20 free SMSes daily, I didn't know what to do with mine.
So, all I did was send many SMSs to Fejiro and catch up with her. I kept checking up on her and found out how she was doing.
Fast forward to July 2021, when she concluded with Uniport. She had very cold feet towards going back to her parent’s house in Ughelli.
She has even gotten a job from one of her mentors, Mrs. Beauty Nwakanma-Akovhueze (formerly known as Beauty Martins), as a content writer for her real estate company.
Since my friend Fortune had given me an apartment to stay in, I was like, You can come over!
So, Fejiro and I became roommates.
Our relationship transcended becoming roommates to becoming soul sisters, and I love that girl till death.
August 2021 to December 2022 wasn't funny. We had lots of times when we were broke!
Her job was paying her 40–50K monthly. And she still had to take transport to work three times a week and feed and buy basic things.
On the other hand, I didn't have a permanent job. Today, I was working, and tomorrow I was out of work.
While we were roommates, Fejiro repeatedly told me how she wanted to move to become a big marketing professional!
She knew all the big companies she wanted to work for were not in Port Harcourt but in Lagos.
When her job started becoming toxic and filled her with lots of anxiety, she was contemplating whether she should resign or not. I asked her to!
Long story short, my favourite girl moved to Lagos in March 2023, and since then, there's been no stopping her!
She has worked with some of the most amazing brands in Nigeria, like Jointly, Fullgap, and now Heroshe!
My favourite girl now nets at least $500 monthly and no longer depends on one source of income to survive.
If you saw my video of farewell video with Fejiro, I'm sure you watched the point I told her:
My wish for you is that you go grab the world!
My baby girl is doing just that! And I'm super proud of her!
I know much bigger things are coming her way, but I'm so proud of the woman she's becoming 🥺
…..
So, after 7 months of not seeing my favourite girl, in October, I had the opportunity to spend 24 hours with her somewhere in Ogun State 😁
It was the best 24 hours of my life in a very long time!
There was a lot of catching up! A lot of reminiscing! I honestly didn't want to leave her side 😭
I didn't realise how much I missed this girl!
One of the best parts of our conversations within those 24 hours was talking about our careers.
She talked about how she was giving her best at work and climbing the corporate ladder, and I talked about building my businesses.
So, while my favourite girl is becoming a corporate baddie, I'm in the process of becoming one of Africa's finest female entrepreneurs!
I'm so excited about the future!
P.S. One of my fondest memories of us together was going to Port Harcourt Library in December 2022 to reflect on how our year went and make plans for 2023. It was one of the best things I ever did with Fejiro, tbvh.
Getting married and becoming parents at 24
So, while Fejiro and I are trying to grow our careers and businesses, respectively, other people are becoming busy with other things.
Like getting married and becoming parents.
Who remembers the part of my newsletter last month when I talked about Fortune and his girlfriend getting married?
Well, the new update is that they're parents now!
They welcomed their very beautiful baby girl in the first week of October!
They're both about 24. Now, they're not just a married couple but parents too 😁🤭
Again, in October, I saw the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen.
It was again from another 24-year-old named Joshua Ochonogor.
Although I've never had a close relationship with him, the Ochonogor family was quite popular back in the day in Aba.
There was Gloria Ochonogor, Didi Ochonogor and Joshua Ochonogor (their youngest brother).
Joshua Ochonogor had a very intimate and minimalist white wedding with his very beautiful wife, Esther Ijoma.
Esther Ijoma is a very young single mum. I don't know how old she is, but she looks very young.
Her daughter is also about 5 or 6 years old. I'm not sure!
There are a few reasons why, of all the marriages I've seen happen recently, Joshua's marriage stands out for me:
Joshua didn't act like a traditional Nigerian man - Most African men have a problem getting married to single mothers. They're always sold the idea that single mums are lose women, and their children are a result of their promiscuity! Seeing Joshua love Esther, get engaged to her, flaunt her on Facebook, and get married to her, I'm so fvcking proud of him! He's a King 💪, and most young African parents should learn from him
Age is not directly proportional to maturity - Our parents (the GenX) are often of the opinion that being older automatically makes them more mature. But the more I interact with them and see how Gen Zs are shattering stereotypes and ceilings, I'm very convinced this is not true! You might be 50 years old but have the maturity and exposure of a 15-year-old. On the other hand, a 15-year-old might have the maturity of a 50-year-old. Because this is Africa and I know how many stereotypes people have about single mums, it must have been very tough for Joshua to convince his family that this was the woman he wanted to marry. First of all, they'd agree he's still very young because he's 24. Next, they'd argue that marrying her automatically means playing father to his wife's daughter. And I wonder why Gen X has a problem with that.
Joshua is an amazing Dad - I know they say don't believe all you see on social media, but social media has become an integral part of our lives. If Joshua knew he wasn't going to be a good dad to his wife's daughter, there was no need to get married to her. Anytime I see pictures and videos from Joshua Ochonogor, I see how much love and bond he shares with his stepdaughter. It's so beautiful to see!
I love that Joshua Ochonogor and his wife had a befitting traditional marriage and went on to have the wedding of their dreams.
They were dressed in something they were both comfortable in. They had their wedding on the beach. They had only two witnesses (their daughter and the priest). I loved it!
See some of the lovely pictures from their wedding 👇
If you want to read more about Joshua Ochonogor, check out this post!
This is one love story I'm genuinely rooting for!
I finally did the tasks that had been on my to-do list for up to 3 months
One of the downsides of being a one-person business is having an unending list of things to do!
Earlier this year, I started using Notion to track my activities and plan my life.
On my Notion database, I have a folder called THINGS TO DO.
On that kaban board, I have nearly 33 cards there of tasks I must attend to.
Unfortunately, three tasks have been on my desk for a very long time that I'm yet to tackle, which I finally finished working on in October.
I've been procrastinating for over 3 months and finally got the chance to sit down and get it done.
The three tasks included:
I completed writing, formatting, and running a plagiarism check on 40 articles I've written for my Irish client's blog.
I finished preparing the slides for my student's digital marketing classes.
I'm working on my cousin's CV as a product manager. (I'm currently working on his LinkedIn profile.)
Having completed those tasks gave me a huge relief, and I kept wondering why I had not done them earlier!
This is your sign to quit procrastinating and face that task you've refused to do headlong!
My struggle with international payments
One of the dreams of every digital entrepreneur is to attract international clients.
This, too, can be a nightmare!
This October, I attracted a client from Cameroon who needed my LinkedIn optimisation service.
I've never received money from Cameroon! I didn't even know how to go about it.
I explored different options and downloaded different apps; I tried out Selar, Eversend, and Send.
People recommended that I check out Paystack, Flutterwave, Yellowcard and even Western Union.
All this stress was because of 10 USD 😪
At the end of the day, I used Crypto, and it saved the day!
Immediately, it dawned on me that if I wanted to scale my business and keep gaining international clients, then I must solve my international payment problem.
If possible, I should have an account with all the fintech solutions available, so that in case my clients want to use anyone, it's a lot easier.
I was almost homeless in Lagos
I moved to Lagos in the first week of August.
Since then, I've been squatting with my long-term Facebook friend, Chidera Ochuagu.
Honestly, coming to Lagos was one of those decisions that wasn't premeditated.
For the longest time, I've hated my apartment in Port Harcourt but just didn't have what it took to leave.
But in June 2023, when my rent was almost expiring, I knew for sure that I didn't want to renew it.
But I didn't have the money to pay for a new apartment either.
Plus, I was fiddling with the idea of leaving Port Harcourt entirely.
There were two reasons why:
I came to Port Harcourt for school. But dropped out in 2021. Since then, everyone keeps thinking I'm crazy for dropping out of pharmacy school.
My online business was getting more sales and recognition from people based in Lagos than in any other part of the country.
If people in Lagos had the buying power and what I wanted was more money, why was I still living in Port Harcourt?
So, immediately after I got my 100K pay from a client, I picked up a few things and left Port Harcourt for good!
Unfortunately, in October, my friend needed a breather.
She needed a break from always seeing me 🤣. Yes, she needed mental space, and I completely understood.
I honestly didn't plan on staying at her place for more than 2 weeks if everything had panned out the way I wanted it to.
Unfortunately, life doesn't always go the way we plan 😭
I looked through my contact list, looking for where to go and give her the week or two-week break she needed, and I couldn't find any.
I was so hurt! Especially because I have a lot of family in Lagos.
What hurt me the most was the attitude of my cousin, who preferred I loitered the streets of Lagos homeless because of his "girlfriend."
I was so hurt!
A stranger, who's only my Facebook friend, could take me in for almost 3 months, and my blood kept giving excuses of why he couldn't explain to his girlfriend that I'm his cousin.
I felt very, very hurt.
At one point, I was almost giving up! I wanted to just pick up my things, take the money I'd saved up, and return to Port Harcourt.
I'm glad I didn't do that! I'll be announcing the big news next month 💃💃💃
Other Interesting Things That Happened in October
1. I missed Dominate in Business Lagos:
One of the ways I intend to reach my prospects and attract more eyes to my business is by attending networking events and conferences.
This October, one of such events happened. It was Dominate in Business Lagos - an event organized by the phenomenal Emeka Nobis.
Emeka Nobis is someone I greatly respect for a couple of reasons:
This man has cracked how to sell to Nigerians (which is one of the hardest things to do in the world)
The man has cracked how to use Facebook and build authority (which is one of the hardest social platforms to thrive on)
I was looking forward to attending that event.
Unfortunately, that day, I was so broke. I didn't have money for a fare and didn't know who to borrow from.
2. I broke up with my boyfriend (again)
You all are probably tired of me by now 🤣
'Cause this would be the second time I'm telling you all I broke up with him.
But this time around, it's for real. I don't want to go into details about why I made this decision.
But I just know this is the best decision for me right now.
3. I hosted 2 events in the School of Digipreneurs
School of Digipreneurs is my online community that focuses on helping young Africans learn digital skills and earn from them.
After a while of taking a long break, I got active again!
I hosted 2 successful events in October:
A Fireside Chat with Esther (a video marketing strategist & graphics designer)
A Fireside Chat with Ilaya Teejay (a UX writer and content marketing professional)
3) I hosted my first-ever LinkedIn Audio Event:
Trust me, for this particular one, I was scared!
I was like, What if nobody shows up?
Fortunately, people showed up and we had a great session!
Here's my appreciation post.
4) I became very active on social media again
Thanks to Esther Shedrach for her 30 days LinkedIn Writing Accountability group.
I got active by showing up on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, with at least 5 posts per week.
I have seen significant growth in my social media since I became active again.
I've not been doing what I planned for my Instagram, TikTok, YouTube shorts, and Facebook reels.
However, with the little things I've been putting out on TikTok, I've seen a very high organic reach.
In October, I had posts that gave me over 1K views, 3K views and 7K views 🤭
This is something I've never gotten organically from LinkedIn or Facebook.
I'm thinking of just coming up with a strategy for my TikTok and posting 5–6 per week in November and just seeing how it goes!
So, if you're not following me on TikTok, I guess it's time you give me a follow!
What 24 means to me
I'll be turning 24 on the 22nd of November, and I'm very happy about it!
The last 4 years being in my 20s has been weird!
There's so much happening all around me at the same time:
People are getting engaged & married
People are having children and raising a family
People are landing good jobs and growing their careers
People are renting nice apartments and buying cars
People are travelling around the world
People are graduating from university
And so on!
And there's me, who only has big dreams!
There's me who just broke up with her boyfriend of almost 3 years.
There's me who's yet to land a high-paying remote job with an international company that'd pay me well in foreign currencies.
There's me who's trying to run my online businesses all by myself and working day and night.
There's me who doesn't have a place of her own and was almost on the verge of becoming homeless in Lagos.
There's me who hasn't been anywhere else apart from Nigeria and hasn't even been to many cities.
There's me who dropped out of University in 2021 and has absolutely no idea what the future holds.
And if you can relate to any of these scenarios, here's my advice to you:
In all you do, avoid comparison!
No two people have the same life calendar!
We're all different and so are our paths!
Some of us might have things very slow but eventually enjoy the snowball effect.
If there's anything you're doing, do it diligently! It doesn't matter if anyone is seeing it or not!
It doesn't matter if anyone appreciates it or not!
As I turn a new year this month, I'm reminding myself to be more audacious, to be more daring, to listen to my instinct and do all the things my heart has ever conceived.
It's better I fail trying to do them than not trying at all!
I want to give you the permission to do the same!
And on the 22nd of November, please don't forget to wish me a happy birthday 🥺🙏
Send me a WhatsApp message, send a text message, post my picture on your WhatsApp status, make a Facebook post, and tell me how my life has been a blessing to you!
Cheers to a new month!